Sending Our Arrows Out – November 2007
Psalm 127 describes children as arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior. I’d like to extend that analogy and share with you some thoughts on this truth as well as practical applications.
Let’s first look at arrows and how they are used. To start, let me ask a rhetorical question to those of you who hunt. When using a rifle or shotgun, how many bullets or pieces of shot have you retrieved after being fired? The answer is NONE, except for perhaps the one embedded in the animal you were hunting. Now, if you have ever used a bow and arrow, how many of your arrows have you retrieved? The answer is usually, ALL I could find! You purposely went out to retrieve the arrows you shot. This is why, I believe,children are described as arrows and not bullets in the Scripture. They are to be sent out for a purpose and then retrieved for the purpose of being sent out again.

Continuing the analogy further, arrows are sent out by their owners with a specific purpose or mission in mind to a specific target. Let me submit to you that our children, both male and female, should also be sent out from our homes with specific missions to accomplish or learn. By this I mean that you and I should send our children into situations, and with people we trust to uphold our values and teaching, for specific training or to accomplish a specific objective. These are usually short term assignments (1-30 days) beginning about age 13, or when the parents believe the child has left childish ways behind, as 1 Corinthians 13:11 states. Upon completing the assignment the child returns home and is debriefed, instructed further, and sent out again. This models the hunter’s process of retrieving an arrow and the subsequent sharpening of the tip, adjusting of the fletching, and inspecting the arrow to make sure it is ready to use again.

How might we put such a process (sending out, retrieving, and debriefing) into practice to accomplish this objective as parents? First comes the mission, then the target, and finally the debrief. The mission is simply what you are trying to accomplish by sending your young person out. For me, the goals have been as varied as my children; let me list a few below:

Learning confidence in dealing with younger children by leading Good News Clubs and Children’s Institutes.

Learning public speaking and writing skills by being in an office environment where these were required and expected.

Learning home management skills by assisting a young mother with her six children.

Discovering a potential vocational interest by assisting a veterinarian in his practice and shadowing a practicing architect.

Redirecting a dream by discovering that flying missionary planes is more difficult than originally expected.

Learning counseling skills by mentoring young people in an eight-week training program.

After the mission comes the target. This is a bit more difficult in that it involves finding the right mentor and the right situation to send your child to. I have used the ALERT Cadet network of fathers to locate those who shared my same standards of training, and who possessed the skill, knowledge, or character quality which I wanted to transfer to my young person. In some cases the person, organization, or family to whom I sent my son or daughter incorporated them into their family for the experiences I could not provide in my home. This is also where significant prayer and networking come into play to find the right person and the right experience to assist you, the parent, in designing the mission for your son or daughter. We at ALERT Cadet stand ready to assist you in finding potential Christian mentors or in designing missions working with us at our headquarters in Big Sandy, Texas.

The last step in the process is the debrief after going out on the mission, and prayerfully coming close to the target. This is critical to the learning and evaluation process. I often asked my young person to keep a daily journal of what he learned and experienced while away from our home. I asked the mentor to journal as well and send me a copy. In this way I had both perspectives on the experience. I then used a series of questions to help both my young person and me process the experience and plan future steps. Some of the questions I used were:

  • What caused you to laugh and enjoy the experience? To cry, or caused distress?
  • What did you learn from your mentor? His family? His children?
  • Share with me the best thing that happened while you were away? The worst?
  • What did you learn about yourself? About the mentor? About their profession?
  • What do you think we should do next as a result of this experience?

From the debrief, I then sat with my wife and determined possible next steps based on the answers and what God revealed to us both about the heart of our young person. We looked for clues that would help us to unlock the child’s heart and the path God had designed for him. After a time of further teaching and training at home, we designed another mission and sent them out again as further confirmation.
This may seem like a lot of work, and it is! However, we are now reaping the benefits in my 21, 19, and 17 year-old young people’s hearts of missions we sent them on when they were 13 and 14 years old. We understand them, and most of all, we have their hearts and still counsel and speak truth into their lives. I encourage you to send your young arrows out on positive missions so that both you and they can experience all that God has for them!

May God give you wisdom as you design the missions and targets, and glean information from the debriefs for your “arrows!”

In Christ,

Major Roger D. Farr
ALERT Cadet Program Director and Commanding Officer